Download 2013: romantic homicide in Derbyshire?
Welsh metal outfit Bullet for My Valentine have signed-up for Download 2013. The official Twitter announced that they were to feature “underneath the mighty Slipknot”. Slipknot have yet to comment on the matter.
Iron Maiden headline Graspop 2013
The relentless Maiden England machine continues to hit Europe’s big venues, with Belgium’s Graspop Festival the latest to fall afoul of Eddie and co. Sonisphere in Italy and France are already in the bag, with Download featuring in-between.
Solitary Pussy Riot
Maria Alyokhina, one of the imprisoned members of Russian punk band Pussy Riot, has been moved to solitary confinement. Alyokhina is currently serving a two-year sentence at a prison camp deep in the Urals, 700 miles east of Moscow.
Lady Gagaing order: two’s company, 35’s a crowd
New York yodeler Lady “Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta” Gaga has revealed that she discovered 35 fans hiding in her garage. The 26-year old had been rummaging around for a midnight snack when she stumbled on a security camera revealing the invading force. Gaga, who was naked at the time of intrusion, seemed unphased by developments.
…and finally
Season’s Freakings: Weird Al Yankovic, Maria Menounos, Bret Michaels, and Alice Cooper… …will be joining the cast of Annoying Orange in a range of skits and strange takes on holiday songs. Weird Al, Michaels, and Cooper will be singing a ‘Holiday Mash-Up’, while former Miss Massachusetts Teen USA, Maria Menounos is rumoured to flirt with Orange.
Which puts a new spin on the notion of ‘freshly squeezed’…
Mark Brassington 